yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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