Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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