You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize