okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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