i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
