so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize