I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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