oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
