So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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