I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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