The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize