So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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