he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
