I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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