she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
