If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
