He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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