I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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