You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
