Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
