it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
