i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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