I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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