whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
