I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
