Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
