I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
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I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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