just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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