I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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