I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize