I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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