Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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