? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
