Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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