She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
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I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.