when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
