You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
