I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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