hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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