Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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