she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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