I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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