Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
