All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
they're like a gay fantastic four
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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