this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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