I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
