that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
