And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
