Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She bit a glass in half.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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