What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
