my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize