I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
