the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
