O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
