Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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