i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
